I woke up one day with the realization that his father wouldn't fully commit to being a father if he wasn't with me. That hurt. The idea that if I lost myself and remained unhappy I could bring back my baby's family. It weighed down my soul every time I walked around and saw father's and mother's with their child. My child could not have that, ever again. He would not be able to see his father and mother defining unity because of my choice to choose to be happy.