Child support, the term both women & men hate to hear.
If you have a good father in your child's life try everything to avoid going through the courts for child support. Be appreciative of the fact that the government doesn't need to intervene because your son already has a good dad. That's dope. Co-parenting is always the way to go and that can be either financially or emotionally. As a parent the most important thing is communication and commitment, so if you can avoid the hassle. What hassle? Child support. Everyone has an opinion on the topic; even the one's who don't have a thing to do with the circumstance. I've come to understand that the reason there are so many perspectives, opinions, bias, etc. is because there are so many different situations in which child support has a negative or positive impact on the parties involved. Anytime so many parties are involved no matter the situation, if the subject is money things will get real, real quick.
Some mother's use child support is an anchor to sink the shit out of the father of their children. He can make the payments like clock work but she is going to take his ass to court and request for more. She will only allow him to see his child twice every other weekend and she still has her hand out for everything. Yes, there are women that in short are vindictive, bitter, and refuse to acknowledge that they have a good man trying to help raise their child. Let's be clear there will ALWAYS be a few rotten apples in the bunch, hell there may even be fistfuls. That doesn't define all mothers and because those mothers are associated with always putting their child's father on child support; that doesn't mean that you should steer clear of requesting support.
My Beaut's you are a good mother and you put your child first. He is on child support because that's exactly what you needed... CHILD SUPPORT. For example, his ass was some of everywhere but a JOB and still couldn't watch his kids. Whatever the reason, simply put you couldn't do it by yourself and he wasn't offering any type of help. So you got the government to help you. Now you receive help whether it's by his choice or not and it’s for the benefit of your child.
I have nothing but respect for you Beaut and child support was created to help mothers like you. That is because for some odd reason the stars aligned and made it so that are less susceptible to abandoning their child. Due to the level of commitment you have as a mother you don’t need to explain yourself and your decision to put him on child support to anybody. Unless they are willing to start assisting in raising your child tell them they can keep their opinions to themselves. The best response to ignorance is silence; you don't have time to entertain bullshit. Besides you’re too busy being a bomb ass woman and raising a child to worry about opinions.
If you put him on child support than you have already done everything you can do. If he doesn't want to be a man than you’re not going to force him. If his ass isn't doing anything, he's a bum, and quite frankly child support can't make him or take anything away from him. Do not let yourself be beaten up over the fact that he still isn't doing anything. With or without him the show must continue and you rather spend your time getting money than worrying about his. If he wants to rant on that your choice in putting him on child support is ruining his life, don't pay it no mind. He isn't shit because he simply isn't and you making him take care of his responsibilities is not going to change that.
So leave the arguments, name calling, and court visits the same place he left his dignity. You are going to take care your children and not let it bother you. Going to the court 3 times a month isn't going to motivate him any quicker to get a job; blasting him on social media isn't going to shame him into doing something either. Whether he was a dog, bum, low life before you had his child is also irrelevant. There's no need to try and wonder why you didn't see the signs because chances are you would've never seen them until you had a child.