Oh you're dating a white guy? What about your melanin?
Meet Jade, the make up maven & women's empowerment advocate. Beaut&Beast had the chance to chat with her about interracial dating, her witty, expressive, stance on womanhood, and of course killer makeup style. Keep reading to see what all the fuss about her, her melanin, and her man are about.
What are some of the challenges you've faced in an interracial relationship and how did you overcome them? The biggest and mainly the sole challenges I have faced is the immense amount of hate I receive from black men on the internet. I have been called EVERY horrible name there is associated with race and not associated with race. I've had my character destroyed on large platforms by people who have never spoken a word to me. To be honest, it's been difficult to overcome the slander, because I have so much love for black men. There is this weird stigma that if you don't date a black man, you hate black men. That's NEVER been the case. With all respect to my lover I will be honest and say that I am still attracted to black men and still care about their existence on this planet. That doesn't go away because you date another race. My father is a black man, stepdad is black. I have two black brothers and 4 of 5 of the only friends I have are black men. So yea... how did I overcome them? I haven't. It still stings every time I get hate but it doesn't consume me.
Some women reject the idea of such a relationship b/c their scared they won't be able to relate to their partner, their partners family won't accept them, etc. did you have those fears? How did you deal with them? No. I never had those fears with Curt because I had to be clear of all of that before I pursued him. I will never tread where I am not welcomed. He told me his family would adore me and they do. I was not afraid of not relating simply because I am open minded to so many things. It's not everyday a black woman from Atlanta is embracing rock and roll and down with going camping, etc. However, I've always been receptive of learning and doing things differently as long it's not detrimental to my health (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual).
Lately there has been a lot of events where it's evident that there is a lot of pain in our country with race. What is your advice to women in interracial relationships on expressing the topic to their partners? Well I first have to start off by saying my boyfriend is not American. He is British and spent half of his life in Canada, so he sees the planet entirely different from your average American white guy. Granted European countries colonized the world and also had slavery but not like America. This country is years behind. He lacks the ignorance you see In America. When he sees unarmed black men and women getting gunned down and our children being stolen, he is just as irate as me. I can imagine it's number one - because he is a human being with common sense and empathy and number two- may one day have a black child himself and would never want to see his kid murdered because he identified with his blackness. So, I say to those women If he is not as angry as you. Keep it moving...you shouldn't have to sugar coat a damn thing with a man you lay with everyday.
Whether it's interracial or not, relationships take a lot of work and love. You are very protective of your relationship and genuine about your love. What advice would you give to women to keep an open and healthy relationship? 1. COMMUNICATION can make or break your union. Talking about everything and I mean everything is imperative. 2. COMPROMISING is necessary. You can not always have your way and vice Versa. Always take your partners opinions and feelings into consideration. Even if you feel like what's troubling them is stupid and petty. The things we have been through in life make us. Lots of times our emotions and challenges are rooted from childhood issues and things we can't change. Compromise. 3. PROTECTING yourselves. Learn to give people what you want them to have and nothing more. You can not let every one know everything. Be strategic enough to give people just enough to keep them inspired to love while still protecting the reality of your union.
You had a video go viral of your partner doing your makeup. Do you feel that women are caught up in gender roles in a relationship? Is this good/bad? What sets the standards? Many people will not agree but I believe in gender roles for my relationship. Curt doesn't do my makeup at all. We made the video completely for fun. He doesn't even like when I wear it because he's obsessed with my natural face. I don't think gender roles are good or bad. It's about what works for YOUR union. Some men are excellent house keepers while some women are bread winners. Just do you. Forget whoever is talking.
A lot of women seek relationships because they want guidance? Should women be going into relationships without understanding themselves? NO! A lot us women grew up without our fathers. Your father is supposed to be the first man that teaches you how to be intimate and loving to another man. Please do not mistake intimacy with sex. To be intimate is to be close, relatable, familiar. So with no dad present, it's easy to thrust yourself on a man sub-consciously looking for him to play the dad role in your life. This will be the biggest mistake of your life. Though it may be hard for extremely relational women, make sure you are WHOLE inside and out before you try to be with anyone because either you will destroy him with your insecurities or he will destroy you because he sees your vulnerability as a weakness.
Do you feel that social media does affect relationship? Why or why not? & is it important to discuss this with your partner? Of course it does. The world is so accessible now. People tend to put their entire lives on the internet. When people argue In relationships now, it's so rare that they stick it out because they can meet someone new in less than an hour. Men get on the internet and lust over the same type of woman they don't want their woman to be. It's just the name of the game now but you have to set rules. If him liking women's pictures and videos bothers you, vocalize it. All it takes is a simple double tap these days to spark an interest. That can be poison to your love life.
How do you handle the pressure, criticism, etc. of being so open about your life on social media? Why do you do it? You said pressure? Pressure makes diamonds... I feel none. I am here to help women. That's my purpose and no devil in hell can stop me from fulfilling MY purpose. Simple.
What habits, routines, etc. help you become more in tune with yourself? Meditation is a huge part of it but to make things even more simple. Just spending time with me. Acknowledging my thoughts as mine. Writing. Dancing in the mirror loving my flaws. Simply being me and not caring what anyone thinks.
What would you recommend to women who are trying to understand their purpose? ASK for it. They only way you can know is to ask. Whoever you pray to. Ask. It will be shown as clear as day in a way you can receive it.
Are there any books you would recommend or people that influence good behavior for women trying to better understand themselves? For people in general I recommend "The power of Auras" by Susan Shumsky and "Intuitive Living" by Alan Seale. LEARN LIFE!!
You often refer to your energy and being watchful of the energy you keep around you. Can you elaborate on what energy means to you? Energy is vibes. Vibe is the root word of vibration. Every living thing has a vibration down to the blades of grass on the ground. You either have high vibrations which is good or low which is not healthy for people who vibrate highly. When you get around certain people who seem to suck your energy and it feels like a forced interaction...it's generally because they are low vibrational and it can pull you down as well.
When your energy is off what are some ways you get back in tune? Spend lots of time alone. To recharge, to think, to hear your thoughts and no one else's. I love to sing songs that make me remember I am powerful. I absolutely love to just write all my thoughts down. Good and bad. I lay out my crystals and feel the energy in them as well.
What would you recommend to women who are trying to embrace themselves & just love who they are? I recommend you start with yourself. Please I beg of any woman who happens to read this to please never confide in any man to give you confidence in the skin you're in. Other people began to love me when it became visible that I loved myself. I had to be broken, made fun of, fight some folks, and left alone before I became the woman I am today. Reach deep within yourself and know that your are the Queen Bee and the rest of the world will notice it too.
Let's shift gears and end the interview with a lighter topic.... makeup. What made you get into makeup and beauty? I had my first job in a salon at the age of 9. I swept hair, took money, scooped relaxer out. I fell in love with the scene and the ability to express myself through styles and colors. So it was natural for me as a result. I grew up being the girl who did everyone's hair in high school and I started hair school at the age of 17. I started out just doing hair and then makeup. Now it's both.
Not everyone can afford Mac or other high end products. What are your top drug store recommendations for a quick "natural beat"? NYX NYX NYX!! And Ruby kisses. I love both.
What products would you recommend to make sure your skin is still healthy under your make up ? I use Organic black soap with oats and aloe DAILY, Blaq roses face scrub TWICE a week and face moisturizing drops when needed.
What are the make up NO's you've been seeing lately and women should avoid? There are no Makeup NO's for me. I feel people should wear whatever the hell they want. My only tip is to BLEND like your life depends on it and don't over do it by packing too much on.
When you offer makeup and beauty advice what do you want women to take away from it? To not look for an escape from who God made you. 2. Have fun with it. That's it.
What are your goals with beauty, make up, etc.? To inspire women all over the world to wear what they want and not be compromised by the opinions of others and be compensated for it.
Thank you so much for interviewing with Beaut&Beast we appreciate your honesty and openness. Let's wrap the questions up with one final thought. When people think of you, your work, your relationship, what message do you want them to receive? & why? I want people everywhere to please be themselves. That's my message. Why? Because I spent so much of my life being someone I wasn't and I can confirm that it's the biggest PRISON you can ever build for yourself. I've had people say," you're dating a white man? You should be ashamed of yourself." Do you hear how crazy that sounds? To be ashamed of YOURSELF. Three years ago I would've listened to those folks. But thats why God gave this man to me when he did...The creator didn't make not one mistake on you. Be YOU. LOVE who you want. Be who you want. Freedom is the most important thing in this life in my opinion. Many of us die not even tasting it. Don't be another one.