A mother recalls the emotional trauma her family endured surviving two miscarriages
Talysa McCall: My Rainbow Story
Motherhood is just as much about pain, scars, and healing as it is joy, health, and a new sense of purpose. Check out the story below where fellow mother and survivor, Talysa, recounts her painful experiences of experiencing two miscarriages after her first born son:
John & I met in 2006, the summer before our senior year in HS. It wasn't an instant attraction lol. He approached me with this Cali boy Mack Daddy persona and I had to check him like a true southern woman. He literally asked me if he could start over!! Fast forward to 2009, I went on to college & he joined the Marine Corps. I graduated with my BA in 2011 & we got married a few months after. Our wedding was one for the books! The location was at a beautiful home that sat on a hill & overlooked a lake. At the time, we were both working for Olive Garden and our manager agreed to cater the wedding. Shortly after we got married John deployed to Afghanistan and I went to work in Texas. After his 6-month deployment, we moved back to Arkansas.
Everyone swore we would be having a child in those first few weeks he returned. However, it was not until 3yrs later that we conceived. I remember going down the service line in church & our pastor asking us when we were going to have a baby. To which I replied, "NO TIME SOON". Little did I know, Noah was already in my tummy. Just the week before I told John I didn't even want kids!
Noah was born February 4, 2014. That was the most meaningful and scariest day of my life. He came by emergency C-section because 3 nurses couldn't find his heartbeat. But ever since then he has been my heartbeat! We continued like any other young family. Looking for where to plant our roots. John was a reservist Marine so it allowed us to travel wherever we wanted. We found ourselves back in TX in 2014.
The next 3 years were truly our darkest.
We found great jobs, a beautiful apartment, Noah was blossoming into an intelligent and funny young kid, and we were over the moon happy. Life was just starting to make sense for us. We than found ourselves entertaining the thought of another baby! Yes, the same person who didn't even want kids, was thinking of having yet another. We agreed and it didn't take long for that thought to turn to reality. I found out I was pregnant again in June of 2015.
But by this time our lifestyle didn't quite look the same. We had bills past due, couldn't afford daycare, didn't have health insurance, & John was working odd end jobs, we were really struggling! John was optimistic about another baby, while I was secretly depressed & full of anxiety. I remember going in for my appointment to confirm my pregnancy at a little free clinic in Houston. The nurse confirmed it, but she was worried about the measurements of the baby. She told me to come back in 2wks for a check-up. I never thought anything was wrong, because my pregnancy with Noah was as smooth as they come. I told everyone I knew as soon as I left the office.
I returned 2wks later & the nurse told me I was in the beginning stages of a miscarriage. Dumbfounded, shocked, and total disbelief is what I felt. How could this be happening? Why would this happen to me? My brother-in-law is an OBGYN so I went to him to have another ultrasound. He too confirmed that the baby was on its way out. I left that office & cried for hours before returning home. John was away on work, but I called & told him. March 9, 2016, was my due date. A date I'll never forget.
We were saddened about the miscarriage, but decided to try again. We were successful. I got pregnant in November 2015. This time we decided to wait a little longer to deliver the good news to everyone. I suggested we tell when I was 12wks along. This time I went to a different clinic. I had heard about a free genetic testing you could do to find out the sex of the baby. When I was about 7-8wks. I had the test done. This was about the same time John found out he'd be going active duty & we'd be moving to Camp Lejeune, NC.
I was overjoyed! This meant a constant stream of income, health insurance, and a home. We went through the holidays still not revealing to the "world" that we were pregnant. January 2016, it was time to relocate. A few hours after we arrived at our new home I began to feel strange. There was a nagging pain in my stomach that wouldn't go away. It turned from nagging to intense in just a few short hours. I found myself curled up in bed just wanting to lay down. I thought maybe it was just a bit of jet lag & I went to sleep.
Later that night I awoke to an immense amount of pain in my lower abdomen. I got up to go to the bathroom. I didn't even make it 3 steps into the bathroom when blood started running down my legs. I turned and looked at my husband and we instantly knew why I was in so much pain. We found ourselves in the middle of yet another miscarriage. I cried instantly. Not knowing why this kept happening to us. Did I carry to many bags at the airport? Should I not have flown? So many questions ran through my mind. I made an appointment that same day at the hospital there on base. We never found out the sex, because the clinic messed up the blood work. August 12, 2016 was my due date. Another date I'll never forget.
After that traumatic experience, John wanted to give up. He was not there for the first miscarriage due to work. Seeing what I went through alone the first time, devastated him even more. He started questioning God, not having faith, he tuned out of our marriage and even life for a while.
April 2016, we started to go counseling. We got back into church, we were at a good place. I made mention of trying once more for a baby. John was extremely hesitant, but agreed (I believe to make me happy). Well, low & behold we got pregnant in September 2016. We were happy, but John didn't want to get his hopes up. I went full speed ahead, telling my closest friends, ordering gender reveal material, the whole nine yards. Something just told me this was the real deal.
This pregnancy didn't come without turmoil. Around 6months I was diagnosed with polyhydramnios. It's a medical condition describing an excess of amniotic fluid in the amniotic sac. You're diagnosed if your fluid level is over 24cm. My levels were in the 40's. There were so many tests done to find out why I had so much fluid but they couldn't find anything. I was at the hospital 3X's a week to monitor the baby. It even came down to them giving me the option of aborting the baby. (There's no way I would do that). Fast forward 6months later & I have a healthy, beautiful, 17lb, 3-month-old baby boy name Cameron.
This road of life is far from what we imagine it to be. We almost gave up so many times, but we remembered the promise of the Rainbow. And after our storm, that's exactly what God gave us, our very own rainbow.